Notes From The Kitchen
Random Musings and Stories
This is Mark again -- Susan's just so busy in the kitchen making all sorts of goodies, like her famous cinnamon rolls and cherry cheese rolls, so I'll be handling most of the blog duty. Today's post is about Santa's visit at The Well Rural Resource here in Iberia. I just happened to be close enough to hear most of the conversations with Santa and thought I'd share some of what I heard. You'll forgive any transcription errors; Santa had several kids standing around him, all asking questions at once:
"Santa, is Rudolph real? Is he really one of your reindeer?"
"Yes, he is! In fact, he leads the sleigh so we can see our way."
"Is he in the front or the back of the sleigh?"
"He's in the front, leading the way."
"So he's your headlight."
"Er, yes, I guess you could say that."
"What did you do before you had Rudolph?"
"We had to put a lantern on the front of the sleigh and the reindeer didn't like that."
"Did the other reindeer really pick on Rudolph?"
"They did at first, but I made them stop because it's not nice to pick on others just because they're different."
"No, that's mean. They shouldn't do that."
"Uh-huh and Santa will put them on the naughty list then they wouldn't get anything. I know that because Santa puts everyone on the naught or nice list."
"How many reindeer are there?"
"Well, there are eight that pull the sleigh."
"But how many are there? There have to be more than that! How many do you have?"
"I have thirty-two."
"Then what do the rest of them do on Christmas Eve?"
"Duh! They stay at the North Pole and eat." another child offered up before Santa could answer.
"Who's your favorite reindeer?"
"I don't have a favorite. I like them all equally."
"My parents said that too. But who's really our favorite?"
"I really don't have a favorite. They're all good reindeer."
"I've seen reindeer poop. It's purple and sparkly! It's pretty!"
"Oh where did you see that?"
"On a movie."
Another little girl interjected with, "That's disgusting. That doesn't sound pretty at all. Purple is pretty. Glitter is pretty. Poop is not pretty. It's disgusting."
"Do the reindeer fight a lot?"
"They fight sometimes but they usually get along."
"Does Rudolph use his nose to blind them when they fight?"
"Oh, yes, he does actually!"
"That's what I thought! Rudolph is undefeated!"
"Santa, how many elves are there?"
"One hundred forty-four." (I imagine Santa just threw out the first number that popped into his head)
"Wow. That's a lot! What are their names?"
"Oh, well, there are so many, you wouldn't want me to name them all."
Each child, in turn, then asked if there was an elf with his or her name, or one of their friend's names. Coincidentally, there are elves with all of those names.
"Are the elves your children?"
"No. They're my workers but we're like a big family."
"Is Mrs. Claus pregnant?"
"No, she's not."
"Does she want to be?"
"Oh, well, no, because the elves are like our family and all the children of the world are, too!"
"So you adopted the elves."
"I suppose you could say that."
"Did you find the elves somewhere?"
"Actually, the elves found me when I was younger. They saved me and took me in."
"Then you made them work for you."
"Oh, I didn't make them. Elves love to work. Work is fun for elves, the way playing is fun for you."
"I don't want to be an elf."
"Is the North Pole far away?"
"No it's not, silly! It's just up in the sky a little bit. Right, Santa?"
"Actually, it is far away."
"How far away?"
"It's about 6,000 reindeer hops away."
"Wow! That IS far!"
"Do you have a toilet at the North Pole?"
"Yes, I do."
"Where is it?"
"It's in the workshop."
"You have a workshop?!"
"Yes, it's where the elves work."
"So do you have a kitchen sink?"
"I sure do."
"Where is it?"
"In his kitchen!"
"That's right, it's in our kitchen."
"That makes sense."
"What's your favorite color?"
Santa points at his red sleeve and says, "Yellow."
"Yellow?! Seriously? Eww! I like red! Don't you like red?"
"Oh, I like red, too. "
"What's your favorite food?"
"Cookies. He's going to say cookies."
"Asparagus. That's my favorite food."
"Asparagus! That's my favorite too, Santa! That and spaghetti!"
"Did you say asparagus, Santa?"
"I sure did."
"Wrapped in bacon?"
"Ooh, it's very good that way."
"Do you like Culver's, Santa?"
"Culver's is good."
"Is there a Culver's in the North Pole?"
"No, there's not so I don't get it very often."
"What do you get?"
"I like a hamburger and cheese curds."
"My mom likes cheese curds a lot. She eats sooooo many of them! Like, a lot of them. All the time. I like chicken."
"Do you eat Culver's on Christmas after you've delivered all the toys and then turned back into a human? You stop at Culver's on the way back to the North Pole then?"
"I do sometimes, if I have some extra time."
"You should. You deserve it."
"What's your favorite kind of cookie?"
"Mine too! Do you like M&M cookies?"
"Oh, yes, I do!"
"I made some of those and I'll make you some for Christmas. If you like them. You like M&M cookies, really?"
"Yes, I do."
"I'm going to leave you some, then."
"I'm going to leave him chocolate chip cookies AND M&M cookies!"
"I'M going to leave him cookies and cake and chocolate milk!"
"Santa can't eat all of that or he'll throw up in the sleigh and ruin all the toys. Santa, I'll just leave you one cookie so you don't get sick."
There was a lot more, but I can't remember it all. If I see Santa, I'll ask him if he remembers anything else.
My name is Susan and I, along with my husband Mark, am the owner and operator of The Corner Cabinet, LLC. I spend my days baking the goodies we sell in our store and love trying out new recipes. I'll be sharing recipes here periodically, in the hopes that others enjoy them as much as we do. The recipes posted will be recipes we've either tried and enjoyed or are my own personal recipes. Any jokes or puns posted are all Mark's and I apologize in advance for them.